Jeff introducing us to the local authority.

Strangely after being awake for over 24 hours I can’t wait to get up and see New York. Pirate, Jeffery and I wake up at 6 am, put our skates on and set off into the streets of Manhattan. We skate for 6 hours straight. I thought it would be impossible to skate through the streets as millions of New Yorkers are making their way to work but it was much fun! Jeffery is a star and introduces us to loads of people.

Jeffery hanging with his peeps.

We see all the usual sites, ground zero

Jeffrey overseeing the reconstruction of ground zero.

, empire state

Jeffrey at the Empire State Building.

, central park etc. And we get loads of shopping done. No one bats an eyelid when we’re cruising around in shops on our skates.

A spot of shopping.

I was quite surprised at how conservative New Yorkers are. Pirate attracts loads of attention with people asking to take pictures and requesting phone numbers left, right and centre! New Yorkers are amazingly friendly people. It feels great here!

After 6 hours of non stop skating in 35 degree heat, we make our way to practice with the Long Island Roller Rebels.

The lovely ladies of the Long Island Roller Rebels

Of course they’re lovely girls and make us feel right at home. Jeffery was a bit pooped and couldn’t be arsed posing for the photo. It’s fair enough I suppose; he worked the camera pretty hard earlier on!

Studio 54!

Pirate Island!

After training Point N’ Shoot takes us back to her place in the Hamptons. Yep, the Hamptons that all the rich people and stars go to for holidays. We’re staying at this secluded place in the most peaceful surroundings. The total opposite to the day we’ve had in the city. It’s time for a well earned rest.

BB:                  Excuse me, did you not notice the line here?

WSWT:           Oh, I’ve just started a second line.

BB:                  *WTF??* Well, actually there is one line that about 100 people are standing in and I think everyone would appreceiate it if you would make your way to the end of it.

WSWT:           No, I’m making a line here. That’s is what people do.

BB:                  What people do? *Turning to surrounding people for reassurance* Well I think everyone here would disagree with you and agree with me that you’re pushing in, and I’m pretty sure they are what you would refer to as people.

WSWT:           Well get over it, this is what people do.

BB:                  Oh you’re unbelievable!

WSWT:           Why thank you.

BB:                  Don’t get me wrong, arrogance is not something you should be proud of.

The white shoe wearing tosser then turns his back and ignores me. The guy he is standing with is clearly embarrassed. I just push my way in front of him and positionally block him whilst letting 3 groups of people in front of me, explaining to him that “this is what people do”. I was so proud of myself, there was no cursing, no loosing my cool and I gave everyone a good laugh!

The 7 and a half hour flight to New York wasn’t all that bad. But by the time I actually get to my destination I’ve been awake for almost 24 hours and I have to tackle the New York underground and train system for almost 3 more hours with multiple change overs. It is quite interesting though. It feels like I’m in a movie, I look out the window and see huge white weather board houses with American flags hoisted from their porches. Signs saying ‘God Bless America’ and massive SUVs driving around. Just like the movies. And on the subway you get all different characters that remind you of TV shows and block buster movies. Next to me I have a bunch of people who sound like their from Sesame Street, then I hear some dudes from Entourage, and then this black guy gets on with his beanie pulled down to his mouth. He must be able to see through it as he seems to be staring at me as he repeatedly screams at me “suck my cock bitch! Suck my mother fucking cock. Oh yeah, that’s right, suck my big black mother fucking cock, bend over bitch, suck it, suck it good” accompanied by thrusting motions. He’s screaming at the top of his lungs and the whole carriage is looking in the other direction, including me. I wasn’t scared, I just sat there thinking, well here’s a story for my blog! Lol

I arrive at the filthy hostel and crash out until Pirate and Jeffrey get in a couple hours later. Jeffrey is not impressed with the lack of cleanliness.

Mingin'

I arrive in Rome and have had no luck finding a couch surfing host. Who would think that I’d actually have to pay for my own accommodation? I suppose I could have stayed with this guy I met on the train but he turned out to be a bit of an old desperado weirdo so I declined his invitation to come and stay with him in some town 5 hours away. At first I was glad to have someone lift my suitcases onto the train on my way to meeting my long time school buddy Megs. A half hour train ride and Maurizio finds me again to help me with my luggage off the train and down the platform which seems to be around 3 miles long. Three painfully annoying miles of him trying to have a sleazy conversation with me in Italian. He insists on giving me his phone number and then gets me to call him so I have his. Like And from that day forward he tried ringing me every day for the next 8 days and sends me texts like ” Ciao, sono Maurizio…. Come stai?”. As if I’m going to travel 5 hours to spend time with someone who can’t even speak the same language as me! I never once answered the phone or responded to a text, what a desperado! He is still sending me text messages that I obviously can’t read. Can anyone speak Italian? “Ciao, io sono al colesseo…tu dove sei?”.

The train station was a perfect opportunity to put my skates on… 

And i couldn’t pass up this photo opportunity..Rome was so mind blowing that I can’t quite remember what order I did everything in so I’m going to put the next 7 days of this blog into one.

The food is to die for.  The people are so beautiful (physically). The history and monuments are mind blowing  

ceiling of the vatican museum

The Sistine Chapel

and the weather is perfect! I’ve never liked coffee but Megs has convinced me to try an Italian coffee and I’m hooked – amazing how they can make this shit taste so good!

Unfortunately everywhere I turn I meet another Australian person or hear another Australian accent. It’s quite disappointing in a way as I’m much more interested in meeting foreigners with interesting (un-Australian) stories to tell. But I can’t blame them all for coming here, that’s for sure.

Our first stop was the Trevi Fountain (Fontanad Trevitore). You just can’t imagine a fountain being this impressive. It’s absolutely packed with people. I later returned to the fountain upon Bandit’s request to toss a coin and make a wish.

It only cost a small fortune to get this shot with the coin sparkling in the air Bandit!

This wish had nothing to do with snaffling any GRGs and convincing them to come to Oz, I swear!

Visiting the Vatican museum, the Sistine Chapel and St Paul’s Basilica was the most amazing experience ever! 

Proof that the sun does actually shine out of my arse! At St Peters Basilliaca none the less!

I just can’t describe it and the pictures really don’t do it any justice. The line-ups were a mile long in scorching heat but it was by far worth the effort. Unfortunately Meg left her wallet in the toilet and it obviously wasn’t a nice honest little nun needing to twiddle after her :( A really hot Italian police officer escorts us to the lost and found section where we report the wallet missing. Upon leaving we’re both given a free set of rosary beads which seems to make everything alright again.

Meg bought this lip expanding lip gloss called Sexy Mother Pucker. We were debating weather it was actually possible for any lip gloss to make your lips bigger and concluded that it was not possible, a sales gimmick for sure. Upon application our lips started to tingle. This sensation quickly turned into a crazy fizzy frenzy of lip plumping madness as we watched our lips explode.

waiting for my lips to explode.

So girls, this does work but I’m almost certain that it must contain some sort of cancer causing carcinogen.

The outside of the colosseum was impressive, the inside was not! I would certainly not recommend paying the 15 euro to line up and get in. I’m amazed at how brazen people can be when having to line up for these things. Line ups can be a mile long and some people just casually stroll to the front of the line and just bump their way in as if they didn’t notice the 100 people waiting in line! But not in front of Bam Bam, hell no, that aint about to happen! “Excuse me, did you not notice the mile long line that you’ve just pushed in front of?” Most of the time the people pretend they didn’t notice and then proceed to the end of the line but wait till you hear about my story of the white shoe wearing line pusherinerer at the Rome airport!

Food glorious food! Every day I have the most amazing salad. Yes, the Italians make tantalizing salads. And then I finish it off with the creamiest ice cream I’ve ever tasted.

mmm ice cream.

I was lining up for my daily ice cream which usually costs 2 euro (everything is surprisingly cheap here, you can even buy a bottle of Jager for just 10 euro), but this time I was shocked with being charged over 9 euro for a friggin’ ice cream! I made quite a scene before leaving and made sure other tourists in the vicinity were aware that the ice creams were a total rip off a this joint! Of course, it was delicious but that’s not the point!

The homeless people in Rome seem to be from medieval horror/fantasy books. They have missing limbs, hunch backs and golf ball sized growths on their heads. Freaky shit!

Saying goodbye to Meg

Meg and I on a night out in Rome.

 and Rome was sad but it was time that New York was introduced to Bam Bam!

Woo hoo, back stage watching Deftones was awesome. Abe Cunningham is my idol and the best drummer in the world! Later on I’m waiting in the artist tent to finally meet him. He’s one of the few musos I care to meet in my life. Rather than sitting there looking like a star struck groupie as bands such as the Prodigy and Alice in Chains mingle around me, I decide to act cool and pretend to be going through my photo’s as I’m watching for Abe to walk past in the corner of my eye. And then Fuck it! I accidently delete every picture I’ve taken of Austria the ones you are seeing were kindly donated by my lovely festival buddies. Martina, Tanya and I take a break from the festival and go to the near by lake for a swim before returning to watch Prodigy back stage. Although there were so many people back stage for this last headlining act I choose to get in the mosh pit to really experience the energy that this bunch of old dudes still have.

It’s not long before I meet Mariam in the press tent. 

The lovely Mariam

 She’s got the job of interviewing a couple bands and introduces me to an awesome German metal core band called Heaven Shall Burn. We work our way to the mosh pit. From a distance I notice that everyone is wearing their T-shirts around their faces like bandits. I’m surprised that  everyone has taken on this craze. Then I realize that it’s not a fashion statement. The dust is so bad that you can’t breath. I suddenly wish I was wearing more than a bikini top. I do my best, trying to filter the air through my fingers. It’s not working but this band is awesome so I’m not going to pussy out of the mosh pit. The band knows no English and starts instructing the crowd in German, when Mariam yells at me to ‘get back!’. I don’t know why I’m running but she’s instilled a sense of urgency I’m not about to ignore. I run backwards to then experience the Wall of Death for the first time. I feel old as I have no idea what’s about to happen in front of me. The mosh pit parts like the red sea as the singer directs the calm before the storm. Then all of a sudden, thousands of people charge towards each other like a medieval battle. Awesome to watch but thank god I was warned!

Not bothering to shower today as I really don’t see the point, I find a little kiddies pool to jump in and take a wee bath.

Next up is Danko Jones. I don’t know why I expected him to be an ugly bastard but he’s hot hot hot and puts on an awesome show!

Danko Jones

Waiting for Hatebreed to start and there is an announcement that a thunder storm is heading our way and that the gig has been cancelled. Everyone is instructed to go back to their tents. Almost immediately the dust storm begins. Everyone is scurrying around like ants before the rain. You can’t see a foot in front of you as 45000 rockers and metal heads (many who are drunk) are slamming into each other trying to get back to their tents. It’s hilarious!!!  Out comes the Jager. Uh oh!

One bottle later (no not all to myself Sam) the storm has passed and I race back to the main stage to catch Hatebreed. Definitely the highlight of my day.

Then it’s off to the party tent with Mariam and her mates who all seem to be convinced my name is Gang Bang!

My new festival buddies (except for the wierd dude in the middle - i have no idea who he is!)

I dance my arse off till 4 am. Meg you were right, crocks are the best! My feet are covered in blisters from all the skating yesterday and yet strangely they don’t hurt. And coincidently crocks are made in Austria!

Spiral of doom!

Loads of people are blading along the river but we only see one girl on quads. I give her the thumbs up! After about 7 hours of skating we jump in the river to cool down. It’s disgustingly dirty but I didn’t get sick so all is good! On the underground, on the way home a lady asks me where I got my skates so I tell her all about derby. She’s all excited but then I remember that there is no derby league in Austria. I’m not sure that I’ve convinced her to start her own league   

Martina and her friends Stephan and Tanya drop me off at the Nova Rock Festival where I’m given free VIP passes. I get there just in time to see the last half of Stone Temple Pilot’s set but I’m rather disappointed. They seem to have no energy and just aren’t cutting it for me. I though it might have been the heat but then realize it’s because the crowd is chanting Ramstien, Ramstien, Ramstien! No respect I tells ya! Ramstien are the headlining act for the night. Not one of my fav bands but fuck they put on a show!

I find a place to set up camp in the crew area next to a bunch of people who set up all the rigging for the festival. They seem like really cool people and help me get everything sorted but for some reason they’re more interested in camping out all weekend in 37 degree heat rather than seeing any bands. Go figure!? It was my plan to get an early nights sleep being aware that my tent will be a hot box at the but crack of dawn but I stay up till around 4:30 am with these guys and one girl who is as drunk as they come and so excited that she gets to speak English all night! The funny thing is that when she’s sober she really struggles to form sentences in English.

Didn’t really do much after that.  Just trying to find a couch to surf on for next week in Italy. I’m also saving my energy for tomorrow and the weekend because Martina got me a free VIP ticket to the Nova Rock Festival. 3 days of over 33 degrees of heat and a shit load of bands. Can’t wait to see Danko Jones, Stone Temple Pilots, Deftones, Alice in Chains, Hatebreed….http://www.novarock.at/

Sorry, no pics today.

I’m staying with Martina, a girl that my mum met whilst in Thailand. She’s awesome and I feel comfortable right away. She takes me to see the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra @ Schönbrunn Palace. There’s a Castle sits at the top of a huge hill amongst the most beautiful royal garden. (see pictures). It was 33 degrees today so the night air is wonderful.